I used to have a great life. My little world was bright. I had no complaints. My perfectly simple life made the fall from grace that much more devastating. I plummeted from the heavenly little bubble that I shared with Jake. I fell fast and hard straight into the fiery pits of hell. The knowledge of how things used to be is a bittersweet torture that refuses me even one moment of respite. I live in a painful reverie that I can’t escape.
I had it good once.
That’s gone now.
All of it disappeared like vapor into the ether. I’m a lost woman, wandering through grief and struggling to come to terms with my new title: widow. My family says I need understanding and closure. I say a cigarette and a bottle of wine is a much better option for instant gratification.
I’m the awkward, depressed one standing in the corner making everyone around me miserably uncomfortable. I’m the one with vacant eyes that society strives to help but can’t. I’m the one who hands out tight smiles and derisive snorts. I’m the widow adrift in this world with no direction. No meaning. No hope. No vital sign.
***
Sadie sets out on a journey to healing without knowing that things will get far worse before they get better. Despite her general indifference to organ donation, she finds herself on a journey to seek out the only people who benefited from her husband’s tragic death.
Resentment runs rampant as she meets the thriving organ recipients. Anger and jealousy spiral, sending the delicate structure of Sadie’s emotions into a tailspin.
Alexander McBride got a second chance—one that he didn’t necessarily want. Alexander is a game changer for Sadie. She hates him for his health but can’t help feeling at home in his presence. He soothes her grief in a way that is intoxicating, addictive even.
The heart that once fell in love with her now resides in Alexander McBride’s chest. It’s a circumstance that forces her to wage an internal war fueled by grief, anger, guilt, love, lust, and loyalty.
Sadie must discover the things that are vital to going on with her life if she has any hope of finding her way through the all-consuming grief that dominates every waking moment.
5 Stars
I received a complimentary copy for review purposes.
I was drawn in by the cover of Vital Sign so I signed up for the tour. I went in blind and I opened the book read the dedication and closed the book fast. I was a little scared. I had to give myself a pep talk to reopen it. I knew it was going to tear my heart to shreds and it did. I loved it!
I read book and picture them almost like movies in my head as I read. I often get overly attached to the characters and what is happening and how they are feeling. However, there are a few books that when I read I feel the book. It just gets inside me and grabs a hold of my heart and my emotions. Vital Sign is at the top pf that list.
It started with the prologue oh my gosh talk about stress and suspense. It was a great was to grab attention and get me into the book. But then came the story and the real emotion. I just sank into the grief and heartbreak that Sadie was experiencing. It made my heart hurt. I cried for her so hard. I could feel the emotion through me and almost like it was surrounding me like I was wrapped in a blanket of it. Just when I didn’t think I could deal with it anymore Sadie was feeling the same way and the story started to take a turn. It was perfect timing. The switch was still filled with emotion but it was lighter and didn’t blanket me.
The switch in Sadie’s attitude started and then there was a switch in the story. It went from all being in Sadie’s voice to being split between Sadie and Zander.
The story starts out in Sadie’s voice and J.L. Mac gave her a great voice. Sadie is feisty and sweet. I loved the corky edge to it. An example I wrote down was she was talking about her laugh and she said it was an “obnoxious hybrid laugh”. There were so many little descriptions like that that drew me to Sadie.
Then Zander’s voice comes in and it was refreshing. He had his own guilt and regrets that you drew me in and I just wanted to love him. He needed it and the guilt in him was mostly placed there by someone else and it wasn’t fair to him at all.
Sadie and Zander amazed me because even though they hadn’t experienced the same grief and guilt they both were going through it. They didn’t even have to talk to each other to get what was going on in the other’s head. The book talks about a picture of driftwood and how it was so worn down and ugly but it made Sadie wonders what it had gone through to get to that spot. I think both Sadie and Zander are like this driftwood. They both went through a lot to beat them up but they come out beautiful.
I had thought about meeting the recipients many times myself, on the days when I visited the far off realm of Old Sadie. Those are the days that it’s a little bit easier to breathe in and out. Those days don’t feel so much bigger than me. They’re a rare occurrence, though, which only makes things worse because the little bit of relief that those days give me makes the next morning so much harder to wake up to. In truth, I’m better off without those days. Those days are the ones that secretly encouraged me to find the organ recipients and the day after, when I was back in my familiar hell, jealousy washed over me like a hurricane storm surge. I’m still so angry at everyone and everything. It’s an irrational anger, but it’s just how I feel. I can’t explain it. I can’t even apologize for it. It’s like this entirely separate entity living inside me. It’s as if there’s Sadie Parker, widow and failed artist, and then there’s Sadie the bitter, confused, hopeless woman walking around with an invisible wound.
USA Today Best Selling Author,J.L. Mac is twenty-seven years old and currently resides in El Paso, Texas, where she enjoys living near her family. She was born and raised in Galveston, Texas. J.L. admittedly has had a long and sordid love affair with the written word and has loved every minute of it. She drinks too many glasses of wine on occasion,and says way too many swear words to be considered “lady-like.” J.L. spends her free time reading, writing, and playing with her children.
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